"I'm Brad and I'm a Jerk"

by Ken Weeks { Mar 2nd 2006 at 12:00AM }

Meet Brad. Or maybe you already have. Brad is a self-professed "master baiter" who pipes soundboards into his Live headset and tortures Halo opponents with expertly managed clips of Dr. Phil and Mr. Rogers, often to hilariously profane effect. Brad obviously takes pride in his craft. His website is an aural monument to both creative trash talk and the good doctor's "stern barnyard logic."

Judging by the highly Oedipal feedback from Brad's many victims, a certain percentage of the Live community has unresolved issues with mothers, sexuality and racial harmony, not to mention an inability to turn down the volume. Faux Phil's natural talent for aggravation extends to packing his site with references to to mesothelioma and laser hair removal in an attempt to attract high-value Google key words. That's annoying. Some gamers might be put off by this jerk's antics, but I think anyone who can engineer a cogent conversation between Mr. Rogers and an enraged hillbilly deserves an award.

Like a helpful jerk, Brad's FAQ offers tips on using your own soundboards. It's only a matter of time before his slow-witted marks start fighting back. By the time Halo 3 rolls around, the Live experience could sound like an on-going argument between PeeWee and Gunnery Sgt. Hartman.

[Sidenote: None of this stuff qualifies as safe for kids or work]

Tags: talking trash, TalkingTrash