Army of Two dubbed Army of Sh*t by Xbox World

by Richard Mitchell { Dec 5th 2007 at 5:15PM }

Games Radar has posted an incredibly damning article about Army of Two from their sister magazine Xbox World. Apparently the magazine had been prepping to review the game -- they had played a near complete beta and were awaiting final code -- when EA decided to put the game back in the oven until next year. According to Xbox World, that was a good choice, but it's probably not going to save the game. It seems the game has no saving graces whatsoever, as the magazine can not come up with a single positive thing to say about it. The article damns everything, especially the plot ("based on some right-wing idea of how great the war on terror is") and characters ("infantile high-fiving redneck jackasses"). In a nutshell: "As it stands, Army of Two is a juvenile swear-fest with clumsy controls, a story apparently penned by a seven year old who hates them ay-rabs, laughable level design that tosses you into a cut-scene every thirty seconds, sub Perfect Dark Zero graphics and the two least likable characters in gaming history." The article concludes that the delay "is a stay of execution" and advises gamers to "Hope for a miracle." Wow, we can't wait for the actual review.

Hit the "read" link for the full article.

[Via nukoda]

Tags: army-of-two, armyoftwo, ea, electronic-arts

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

a ham sandwich @ Dec 5th 2007 5:25PM

nah, i think ill skip the read link on this one this time. gee. i need to sit down.

Anticrawl @ Dec 5th 2007 9:30PM

What the hell did Johan Falcon do? Jesus Christ all his comments are nearly zero, the man just wants to wait til the game is done to pass judgement. You people need to fucking relax...

man...

finnith @ Dec 5th 2007 10:07PM

Well. I don't knoow what posts you were reading there.

He calls seems to contradict all truth when he says that OXM is small time. It might not be a good magazine but it surely is not small time.

Anticrawl @ Dec 5th 2007 10:32PM

Hardly a reason to hate someone. If he isn't familiar with a certain media outlet does that make his opinion any less honorable?

Jonah Falcon @ Dec 6th 2007 1:28AM

WHEN did I *ever* say OXM was "small time"?!?!

Jonah Falcon @ Dec 5th 2007 5:28PM

I'll wait for major site reviews, thanks.

Richard Mitchell @ Dec 5th 2007 5:50PM

For what it's worth, Xbox World is a spin off of CVG. Not exactly small time.

Jonah Falcon @ Dec 5th 2007 6:35PM

Oh come on, Richard. Gizmodo?

Richard Mitchell @ Dec 5th 2007 6:59PM

I think you're responding to the wrong comment. I didn't mention Gizmodo ;)

Jonah Falcon @ Dec 5th 2007 7:04PM

Okay, replace that with:

Oh, c'mon, Richard. Xbox World? Not exactly OXM here.

Richard Mitchell @ Dec 5th 2007 7:22PM

Xbox World is published by the same company as OXM.

Jonah Falcon @ Dec 5th 2007 7:25PM

And? LOL

Jonah Falcon @ Dec 6th 2007 1:20AM

All I'm saying, Richard, is that Xbox World is still a relatively small publication, in comparison with such mags as OXM, EGM, etc. You'll give far more weight to an OXM score than an Xbox World score, for instance.

UNSCleric @ Dec 5th 2007 5:29PM

Yeah, go ahead and wait for the reviews that are paid off, that'll sure give you an honest look.

This is an EA game, of course it's gonna be shit.

Jonah Falcon @ Dec 5th 2007 5:42PM

Because, as we all know, us reviewers all get paid off. Which is why we're so rich and driving around in Bentleys. (smirk)

Jonah Falcon @ Dec 5th 2007 7:13PM

UNSCleric: Burnout Paradise, Mercanaries 2, The Orange Box, skate, and Spore - it's all SHIT!

Penguin Warlord @ Dec 5th 2007 10:46PM

That better be sarcasm. Cause noone bad mouths my weighted companion cube, have you no respect for the thought to be dead.

Jonah Falcon @ Dec 6th 2007 1:25AM

It is. My point is that saying all EA does is shit is a silly blanket statement. For one, Burnout Paradise is published by EA. That one I'm salivating over, too.

Oh, and Spore. Need Spore. Now.

BirdmanSTX @ Dec 5th 2007 5:30PM

That almost sounds like the Kane & Lynch review on Gamespot.... until it was changed :)

Token White Guy @ Dec 5th 2007 5:36PM

I predicted this game would suck from day one. Am I wrong?

Jonah Falcon @ Dec 5th 2007 5:44PM

You're the expert at reading books by their covers.

danstabbingworth @ Dec 5th 2007 6:10PM

Seriously, can you start posting on gizmodo as well? I don't get enough of you acting like ass here and joystiq.

Token White Guy @ Dec 5th 2007 6:22PM

Are you talking to me, danstabbingworth?

danstabbingworth @ Dec 5th 2007 6:30PM

No, Jonah.

Jonah Falcon @ Dec 5th 2007 6:32PM

Listen to yourselves. Whining about me while proclaiming you can predict what games will be.

Here's a keyboard for you: OPINION.

Anthony33 @ Dec 5th 2007 5:47PM

I'm not saying this game will be any good but Ao2's graphics clearly look better than PDZ.

Larry not allowed to say cheevo @ Dec 5th 2007 5:40PM

Wow! Really? Ummm... Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzt! No, wrong. I'm going to try the game for myself. I refuse to believe this. Not to mention that Knuckles said that it seems like a pretty solid game.

Jonah Falcon @ Dec 5th 2007 5:43PM

Oh, about "shitty" EA games, I love Rock Band and am anxiously awaiting Spore.

Jim Waverly @ Dec 5th 2007 5:45PM

That Xbox World editor better polish up his resume!

Urza @ Dec 5th 2007 5:47PM

Glad I heard about this before I got the game. I can't take anymore hyped holiday games that turn out to be alright but not great.

Jonah Falcon @ Dec 5th 2007 6:36PM

What's wrong with games that are just "alright"? Since when did okay=bad?

bonzai @ Dec 5th 2007 5:47PM

just some liberal idiots, just like the majority of the gaming world.

I'll be picking up this game.

Knight Marquise @ Dec 5th 2007 6:08PM

*sigh*

I =wasn't= going to pick this game up, however, now that it's obviously hated by liberal pukes, I feel obligated to make this a purchase. Damn it.

jere @ Dec 5th 2007 6:12PM

Wow, your reasoning makes so much sense! I'm sorry, but you sound so close-minded.

DSR7997 @ Dec 5th 2007 6:14PM

As soon as I saw "Right-Wing" I knew that the review was as biased as the they claim the game to be.

bonzai @ Dec 5th 2007 6:16PM

What's wrong jere...

Wittle left-wing nutjob offended?

Penguin Warlord @ Dec 5th 2007 10:50PM

Oh yeah bonzai, all liberal people suck for having a general compassion for other people. You know, people who believe in basic rights for everyone. Obviously you can go too far but rightwing fucktards like you need to learn how to think logically and with a little compassion and empathy for other human beings.

Michael @ Dec 5th 2007 5:48PM

Not suprised, the original trailer with Eisenhower speaking got me pumped. Every other trailer after that had me less and less interested. The gameplay videos have failed to inspire as well.

Aeron @ Dec 5th 2007 5:51PM

More like Liberal sh*t. If you give a game a fu**ing low score because you disagree with the games politics (DAMN HIPPIES!!!) Then just don't review it!!!! I'm just going to buy this based off of the excellent trailers. If those racist xbox world bastards don't like it, well tough.

Penguin Warlord @ Dec 5th 2007 10:56PM

Discriminating against someone based on their political views isn't called racism. Maybe if you switched from Fox news to a newspaper every once in a while you wouldn't have that problem.

David @ Dec 5th 2007 6:32PM

I wonder who at Games Radar will get fired over that.

Jonah Falcon @ Dec 5th 2007 7:14PM

You. Clean out your desk.

Larry not allowed to say cheevo @ Dec 5th 2007 5:57PM

I also have to comment on some of the content of the story. What is with the redneck comment? I'm sure rednecks like video games. Not to mention, I've not seen one stetson or pair of rattlesnake skin boots in any trailer that I've seen. Also, why bash right wing conservative politics when speaking of a game!? It's a freaking game! Plus, those Ay-rabs are pretty troublesome.