Zero Punctuation sorta likes Assassin's Creed
by Richard Mitchell 
{ Dec 5th 2007 at 4:30PM }
It's become something of a tradition at this point. If it's Wednesday, it's time for another Zero Punctuation review from The Escapist. Chances are, if it's a 360 review, we're going to feature it here. Why? Because they're damned funny and we need the relief. This week, Yahtzee takes a look at Assassin's Creed as the result of several viewers emailing him about how awful it is. Looks like their plan backfired though, because it turns out Yahtzee actually likes it. It's not perfect -- far from it, as Yahtzee puts it squarely in the bronze medal category -- but in the end even the crabbiest game reviewer on the planet tells reviewers to "give it a chance." Yeah, we're shocked, too. The review is definitely not safe for work, so we've embedded it after the break. Enjoy.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Ben @ Dec 5th 2007 4:46PM
Yahtzee's reviews are great. I really want to play this game and am thinking about signing up for GameFly. Does anyone else use GameFly, and if so how would you rate their service?
Ben @ Dec 5th 2007 4:46PM
oh, and first :P
Perno @ Dec 6th 2007 8:26AM
I have GameFly, it would be much better if I lived closer to one of the distribution centers, but I'm in Florida so I have to wait for them to send/receive it from their California warehouse for some reason. I like the interface of their site, but I heard Gameznflix is better. I like the option of buying every game for like $35 after you rent it, it's a great way to build a gaming collection if you're into that.
Haven't played Assassin's yet, still into H3 and now Rock Band. I've got GameFly sending me Assassin's next month some time.
Hexx @ Dec 5th 2007 5:11PM
Gamefly is great, but you'll have to wait a while to get games unlike say Netflix which is like next day. This is mainly because Netflix has a center in every major city almost. The wait from sending to getting a new one is about a week for me in middle america.
BobTheMonkey @ Dec 5th 2007 5:29PM
Yeah, what Hexx said. Takes forever to get the games in. But I think it's beneficial right now, cause I can rent Assassins Creed, then when I'm done playing it, it won't have many benefits because there's no MP, so I'll send it in for Mass Effect. I think it's cheaper than buying the game, then going to EB and getting ripped off for trading it in. I think I'll keep Gamefly till GTAIV comes out, then I'll quit.
zlionsfan @ Dec 6th 2007 10:39AM
I'd agree with the comments above: it's best if you live near one of the distribution centers and they send your games from there.
I signed up when there was just the one in California and that sucked (I live outside Indianapolis). I got lucky and got into the beta for the Pittsburgh center, and that made a huge difference - pretty much everything arrives within a week (2 days each way). That's not bad if you use it for backup games or if you are on one of the bigger plans (I'm on the 3-game plan). I usually have one good game out, one achievement-whore game, and then I rotate games in the third spot when I see something I like.
xenocidic @ Dec 5th 2007 4:56PM
I want this guy to review K&L and comment about Gertsmann-gate
TORO @ Dec 5th 2007 5:02PM
Yahtzee is hilarious, I don't mind this being a regular thing Wednesday's. I want to see a review of COD4, I want know what cons COD4 he thinks it has (besides kinda short campaign - no biggy tho)
Anticrawl @ Dec 5th 2007 10:30PM
Considering he doesn't play multiplayer he'll probably walk all over the game.. then again the multiplayer dies down once you realize how little rewarding playing through, leveling up and unlocking things is. Single-player was fantastic though, even if it did suffer from being short.
xenocidic @ Dec 6th 2007 9:23AM
People complaining about short COD4 SP need to play Veteran IMO
lord hobo @ Dec 5th 2007 5:07PM
Epic.
feelingsinister @ Dec 5th 2007 5:07PM
SPOILERS! - Man I have yet to play this.
manifest @ Dec 6th 2007 9:49AM
ehhhh he said nothing you wouldn't find out within the first few minutes of playing it anyways. sall good
Big Filth @ Dec 5th 2007 5:17PM
assassins creed is a great game. I dont know why its become cool to say its not, but if you actually play the thing youll see how great it is. When I first started playing I felt like I wasted 60 bucks, then after giving it a chance I started to appreciate all the GREAT aspects of the game instead of focusing on what it doesnt have. I cant watch this review cause Im at work with no speakers but if this dude says its good, maybe youll belive him.
combo kills, FTW!!
DiddlyKong @ Dec 5th 2007 5:18PM
Hilarious! This is my reviewer of the year.
dishwasher @ Dec 5th 2007 6:06PM
you need to watch more of his reviews
Tony @ Dec 5th 2007 6:17PM
Well now I know that I will never agree with this guy on anything lol.
Magic Whiskey @ Dec 5th 2007 6:57PM
I agree with him completely..great game and this was hilarious:). The one glaring annoyance that Assassin's Creed has is that you do have to start each (f-ing) level at that damn(f-ing) mountain city (Masayaf..sp), and Zero seems to agree with me.
Kill the beggars and dirty peasants!
(BTW if you endeavor to beat the game like I did, stick around after the credits. Unlike Halo 3, this time you get Gamerscore for doing so.)
BananaBoat @ Dec 5th 2007 7:12PM
It's cool to say how bad Assassins Creed is, because..well...it's pretty bad. You spend most of your time, as Yahtzee implied, dicking around, and not enough time assassinating people. The Sci-Fi story also dicks up the entire experience, since, well, Sci-Fi is played out and I was hoping for a game that was...you know...actually set in the middle ages. Not to mention that the voice acting is horrible, the hours of tutorials are horrible, and the combat is horrible. I'm glad I rented it before buying it, and didn't let the Jade Raymond trap get me like most everyone else. I did have fun though...for the 10 minutes I was actually F'ing slaying.
BananaBoat @ Dec 5th 2007 7:15PM
I'm ultra excited for the sequel. Step 1 is dump voice actors. Step 2 is make the combat less tedious. Step 3 is double the amount of people you get to whack, and Step 4 is...mmm...that'd probably turn the game into a 9.5 out of 10 right there.
yodaforsale @ Dec 5th 2007 9:58PM
zero punctuation makes the best reviews. and benny hill ftw!
inpac @ Dec 8th 2007 9:02PM
What a great review - didn't know about Yahtzee so thanks for the intro. Glad to hear this will be a weekly occurrence.
As far as AC - I enjoyed the game but as Yahtzee stated in his review it is very repetitive. There was a lot of hype on this one, mainly generated from the visually stunning demos/trailers/etc.