Criterion tells gamers why Paradise is perfect

by Dustin Burg { Dec 25th 2007 at 2:00PM }

Have complaints about Burnout Paradise after playing the demo? Well, tough! Because Criterion Games doesn't give a hoot and they'll tell you why you should feel guilty about opening your trap to talk bad about their baby.

Let's break it down. If you think you can compare Burnout Paradise to other game X then Criterion would say you are WRONG! According to them, this is an all new game, all new experience and it isn't comparable to any other game. Think the "new" crash mode sucks? Noper, Criterion says you haven't played the retail version and has N'Gai Croal linkage to prove that it's the bomb. Feel that not being able to retry an event is lame? Sorry, but your opinion is wrong again. Criterion thought about that, decided it was dumb to retry and hates loading screens so you should too. Get it? Got it? Good. It's easier not to have to think for ourselves. Thanks Criterion!

[Via Joystiq]

Tags: burnout-paradise, criterion, criterion-games, ea

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Sean @ Dec 25th 2007 3:08PM

Developers should never have to justify WHY you should like their games - they need to just accept it's poor.

Noxat @ Dec 25th 2007 3:17PM

So when should the major review sites expect to receive their "Guide to Reviewing Burnout Paradise"?

Game_playa @ Dec 25th 2007 4:58PM

LOL

David Tieman @ Dec 26th 2007 7:06AM

Well after playing the demo i would have to agree with them, it is damn near perfect. I was having doubts about the open nature of the new version, but after playing the demo, i think i works really well. Its good to see them not doing the same thing over and over again like they were doing with there previous versions. I have very high hopes for this version and am looking forward to it.

DemonicBurger @ Dec 27th 2007 12:51PM

Umm...have u played their other games? They never really repeated anything, they were always adding new features.

Burnout was amazing for the time it had come out at, the crashes were awesome, and the boost was a fun and unique element to the game.

Burnout 2, was prettier than burnout 1, and they updated the boost feature.

Burnout 3: takedown, took the game to a whole new level with the takedown feature. Signature takedowns were my favorite part of this game.

Burnout 4: revenge, took the take down feature to a whole new level, adding new game modes, and online play that was pure awesome.

Burnout 5 seems to be lacking the traffic checks in burnout 4. They are making the game more realistic, like an arcade version of need for speed in my opinion. I loved burnout 4 with a passion, and i played it until my eyes bled. It was by far the best racing game ever, and Criterion seems to be taking the game back a step by making it one big city and taking away a few of the features that hardcore burnout fans loved. If i wanted a racing game where u knick a corner and then skid out into a devastating wall, i would play need for speed. I'm sure burnout 5 paradise a great game for newcomers to the series, but honestly, it doesn't even come CLOSE to burnout revenge's arcade style.

Pencil Shavings @ Dec 25th 2007 3:38PM

Shut up and release the game, don't start preening yet.

Anticrawl @ Dec 25th 2007 3:51PM

Sounds like they read some of my e-mails haha. I guess it's too late to make any changes so Criterion is trying to justify their game. Not a good sign, hope it isn't to bad for their sake.

Greg @ Dec 25th 2007 3:59PM

What, developers listening to their consumers, parish the thought. I personally thought the demo was lacking a lot of the qualities that HAD made the Burnout series so good. Oh well, thank goodness for demos.

violenceinhd @ Dec 25th 2007 4:34PM

Nice typo of "you're" instead of "your," Dustin.

And Criterion is acting like Bungie. Shouldn't you all be sucking their dicks now?

roach @ Dec 25th 2007 5:52PM

Thank you grammar nazi!

Why exactly are they like Bungie? Bungie admits to and fixes shit when its broken. Last time I checked, Halo 3 was pretty popular.

Who let the troll out of the closet?.... geez....

violenceinhd @ Dec 25th 2007 5:59PM

Grammar nazi? If you're posting on a popular blog, you'd want to make sure your grammar is correct.

Bungie is egotistical and arrogant, just like how Criterion is acting. That's the connection.

badarsemother3k @ Dec 25th 2007 6:19PM

Egotistical and arrogant... so like you. Seriously though Bungie tries to please everybody, but Criterion made changes for the sake of making changes. BTW when you correct someones grammar, do it in a respectful manner. The way your statement came out was seemingly rude.

8complex @ Dec 25th 2007 4:35PM

Having not played the rest of the series, I didn't find anything wrong with the game when I played the demo. I think the only thing that threw me off was that I couldn't tell which events I had done and was yet to do -- this might be different in the full version, I have no clue.

As for the gameplay, I thought it was a lot of fun, the world was nicely done, and the physics were a good level of arcadey-ness for the type of play.

I'm definitely considering buying the game when it comes out... perhaps I will finish a few of the others I have yet to get through while I am off from work this week, so that I can move on.

AG @ Dec 25th 2007 5:57PM

Actually, sorry no, it is Need for Speed updated and with crashes...It's bigger, prettier, and NFS Underground with crashes.

wickedpheonix @ Dec 25th 2007 8:23PM

Same - I didn't play the older Burnout games, and I thought this was awesome.

Thing is, it's a radical departure from the previous games in the series. People who loved the previous games went into BP looking for more of the same, found something else, and decided that the demo sucked. Truth be told, if they actually looked at it as a game and not just a Burnout game (like those of us who are forced to do so because we didn't play the older ones), I figure they'd probably like it.

So maybe it doesn't deserve to wear the Burnout moniker - but why does that change the fact that the demo was still pretty darn fuzzing awesome?

crveck @ Dec 25th 2007 9:03PM

Eh... He has done this before, remember this little diddy from last February on why Black was more than we thought it was but Americans can't see the true meaning? And how there is no such thing as "beating" a game? It's nothing new with this guy, he just needs to get over himself.
http://www.joystiq.com/2007/02/14/alex-ward-flips-out-during-mtv-interview/

ridestowe @ Dec 27th 2007 1:53PM

ahh yes i remember that video. i knew there was a reason why that guy seemed like a prick.....

jaybird1905 @ Dec 26th 2007 12:51PM

Newflash: Every designer who has released a demo this year thinks their game is "the best"

I seriously got angry reading this prick's response.

"We hear you, but...

The demo was made AFTER work on Paradise was completed, so no, we won't be using internet 'feedback' to tune the game."

Are you kidding me? Blatantly tell your fanbase, thanks, but your input doesn't mean shit ... that'll sell games.

ccc @ Dec 26th 2007 3:52PM

Its a near mindless racer with tons of stuff to jerk around with. The cars don't even have people driving them. This game is by far nothing special other than the fact that it manages to run smoothly. This game will be long forgotten by the end of next year and probably in the bargin bin of most department stores for 15 to 20 bucks.

wickedpheonix @ Dec 26th 2007 8:48PM

"Its a near mindless racer with tons of stuff to jerk around with."

That's why it owns so bad.

jim @ Dec 26th 2007 10:30PM

thanks to gamefly i wont have to buy it.. but after playing the demo its gonna be at the bottom of my queue of avail games when it does come out.

Forklift @ Dec 30th 2007 1:12PM

I am getting so close to cancelling my preorder because of their crap.

Not being able to retry bugs me, but I could deal with it.

But their attitude makes me not want to support them. If I get the game now, it will probably be used, meaning they don't get a penny from me.

JuggySingh @ Jan 2nd 2008 8:48AM

Yes, lets have a new game of burnout where the gamer can drive through a paint shop and change the color of his or her car to pretty pink or blueberry blue, wtf, we dont need to change the color of our frikin cars, were not being chased by the police, this aint gta, some1 is getting paid far too much at criterion me thinks!

Everything looks the same in paradise, wheres the central routes, eastern bays and white mountain style areas gone?

Just bring out an expansion pack for burnout revenge with new tracks and cars, thats all u ever had to do! How could u have got it so wrong criterion? !!!!!!!!!