Joystiq [Xbox]

First, don't believe all of the information described in Bungie.net's "SuperDunner's Tale". The truth shall be revealed one day, but now is not the time. We must focus our limited story-telling energy on the issue at hand.

Secondly, let it be known that those darling Bungie developers cheated. The first three "games" (and we use that term loosely) were nothing but rigged, uneventful and juvenile matches that were crafted by Bungie to keep Recon armor from Team Joystiq. Collectively, we raise our nose to such an act and dismiss all three matches completely. Go ahead, download and experience the shenanigans for yourself: game 1, game 2 and game 3. As much as Bungie tries to convince the masses that these three games were part of our wager, just don't believe their colorful lies. The final three games played, games 4, 5 and 6 of the evening, are what we consider to be the official games and what the challenge is based on. Now, for a recap of the competitive madness ...

• Super Official Game 1
  Assembly - Team Slayer (Stats)
  The first official game of the Joystiq vs. Bungie competition was a Team Slayer match on Assembly and, to be honest, our nerves got the best of us. Or maybe it was the annoyance we experienced coming out of the three rigged games that frazzled us so much our BR shots ended up off target. No matter the cause, the end result was icky, icky bad. Team Joystiq narrowly lost, 43-50.
  Joystiq Community Participants: Tyler, Matt and Caleb Frost
  
  
• Super Official Game 2
  Sandbox - BR Team Slayer (Stats)
  The second official game is where Team Joystiq came into its killing stride. With feet firmly planted in Sandbox's sandy terrain and a thick slathering of SPF 50 sun block pasted on our armor, we abused Bungie. Final score 50-45 in Joystiq's favor. At the game's conclusion, the sound of celebratory champagne corks popping could be heard echoing through the dunes. Everyone cheered. Curtains. Fade to black.
  Joystiq Community Participants: Brett Hattaway, NiCkELoP and RGnome
  
  
• Super Official Game 3
  Orbital - BR Team Slayer (Stats)
  Riding the frag'alicious high that was experienced during the previous match, the third and final official game was another overwhelming victory. The Joystiq team really came into its own and masterfully navigated Orbital's walkways with ESP-like communication. Bungie got walloped, losing by a score of 50-21. We hit the showers at the game's conclusion and smacked our lips at the thought of a free steak dinner, courtesy of one Mr. Luke Smith, of course.
  Joystiq Community Participants: Andrew Desmarais, Dan the Man and stringAnomaly

In the end, "The 9" Joystiq participants were kindly gifted Recon armor for their participation and having to deal with Bungie's tomfoolery. And seeing as Joystiq lost one match, our editors will live up to their end of the wager and sport Bungie supplied apparel during E3, for one day. Dustin "SuperDunner" Burg is still Recon'less and has been diagnosed with a mild case of depression.

Even though Bungie played a nasty trick on us all during the first three unofficial games, we still love tolerate those unruly developers. Our continued rivalry with them is nothing more than friendly ribbing and we hold no ill feelings toward them. We can roll with their punches and swing just as hard if need be but, in the end, we know we'll always end up hugging it out. Thanks to all who were involved, the entire Joystiq community for supporting us in battle and, yes ... even those pranksters at Bungie.

"The Road to Recon" continues and its trail runs straight through E3 2009 ... Bungie, be on the lookout.