zero-punctuation posts (Subscribe to this feed)

Happy 4th of July! Here's Alex Mercer with boobs, Cole McGrath in a bikini


In the celebration of all things great and American, we're proud to present the characters of inFamous and Prototype cross-dressing. YAY! (See inFamous' Cole after the break.)

Okay, so you're probably wondering where these images came from. Yahtzee presented a challenge to the development teams of these two games after he couldn't decide which game was better in a recent episode of Zero Punctuation. So, he jokingly said the "winner" would be whichever team sends in an image of the other game's protagonist cross-dressing.

And now the world is a much better place.

Continued →

Zero Punctuation lovity love loves Duke Nukem Forever


It's finally happened! Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee speaks glorificously about a title without the distinct smell of [edited] having been [edited] in his [edited] by someone from Valve or Double Fine. Duke Nukem Forever is the masterpiece that made the once bad boy of game reviews open his heart and learn to love again like an overused British analogy that we should write here.

Anyway, it's been a long time coming, but any love Duke Nukem Forever can receive deserves to be spread far and wide on the internets. That game is awesome! Check out the ZP review at The Escapist as the embed doesn't seem to work given the game's fantabulousness.

Zero Punctuation chainsawdomizes Gears of War 2


After what seems like a breathless eternity, Yahtzee has finally reviewed Gears of War 2 for Zero Punctuation. The verdict: He likes it. Naturally, he levels a few complaints at the game, most notably the strange abundance of chest-high walls on the planet Sera. Overall, the review praises the game as a good mainstream title with a a healthy amount of variety (a little too much variety in the case of level design). Find the review after the break.

Update: Ahem, now the video is after the break.

Continued →

M-rated Tomb Raider a possibility?

Eidos recently laid off 30 employees at Crystal Dynamics, including Tomb Raider: Underworld creative director Eric Lindstrom. Understandably bitter about Eidos' cost-cutting, Lindstrom is now answering fan questions on a popular Tomb Raider fan forum, giving an intriguing and frank insight into the development process (including details Eidos probably didn't want publicized).

One of the more interesting factoids to emerge from Lindstrom's open Q & A session is that Crystal Dynamics was held back by Eidos from making Underworld an M-rated title. "I wanted to do things that a Teen rating prevented," explained Lindstrom, "but I also wanted it to get the players the first unrated games, did. In the end it didn't matter because publishing wanted it to be Teen."

So far, the Tomb Raider franchise has contained only Teen-rated games, but was a Mature title still a possibility? Says Lindstrom: "The managers who said it had to be Teen left some time ago, so maybe that could change sometime." We assume such a game would either include more violence, or, as some sites have been quick to suggest, a more risqué depiction of Lara.

Though something evidently has to change after Underworld's disappointing sales, does anybody else find such a prospect depressing? We'd prefer it if Eidos concentrated on shipping games that, y'know, functioned correctly. Also, while we're discussing Underworld, we figured this would be an appropriate place to mention the Zero Punctuation review, which just popped up in our RSS feeds -- catch the video after the jump!

Continued →

Zero Punctuation takes on Sonic Unleashed


In this week's Zero Punctuation, imperator of ire and maharajah of moodiness Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw has taken time out to sling a few quick-witted barbs at Sonic Unleashed.

True to form, Yahtzee quickly sets about smacking Unleashed down a peg or ten; in fact, this could be one of the angriest pieces we've seen from Croshaw in some time. It didn't totally agree with our own mainly scathing review, either: for one, he seems to prefer the Werehog Wolfhog stages (madness, we say, but horses for courses, and all that), and for two, we actually quite liked the day stages, whereas Yahtzee is revulsed.

Continued →

Zero Punctuation almost, sort of likes Left 4 Dead


It's been a while since we've checked in with our old friend Yahtzee, so we were eager to hear his thoughts on one of our favorite games in recent memory: Left 4 Dead. And guess what?! He didn't hate it! ... Well, since we're still in Reality Prime, he had plenty of mean things to say about it, but he was probably as nice as he could be without some sort of dimensional shift.

See how much of his assessment you agree with in the video right here.

Zero Punctuation takes on Left 4 Dead


As a general rule of thumb, if you really like a particular game -- and if you're easily riled -- it's a good idea not to watch the Zero Punctuation review of said game. And yet, here we are. We have something of a crush on around Fanboy Towers and it was with some trepidation that we watched Left 4 DeadZero Punctuation's review. As it turns out, Yahtzee doesn't completely dismember the game, though he doesn't outright praise it either. More or less the review outlines what most have said. The co-op is fun, the level selection is a bit limited but overall the game is well designed. The verdict: it's up to you to guage whether or not the fun to be had in Left 4 Dead is worth the price of admission.

Check out the review after the break (as usual, the video contains some language that is NSFW).

Continued →

Guitar Hero World Tour gets Yahtzeed


For his latest Zero Punctuation review, renowned intertubes misanthrope Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw has cast his jaded eye over Activision's Guitar Hero: World Tour.

Things start off well between reviewer and game (though Rock Band's troubled relationship with Australia undoubtedly has something to do with this) but Yahtzee soon finds assorted holes to pick at, with some of his targets including the pointlessness of Spanish language songs in an English language release, the new slide bar on World Tour's guitars, and the game's credentials as a karaoke simulator. Hit up The Escapist for the review in full or simply jump past the break.

Continued →

Zero Punctuation force chokes The Force Unleashed


It's been a while since master of misanthropy Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw was featured on these pages, but now he's back, in full sneering mode, with a scathing review of the colossally popular Star Wars: The Force Unleashed. Like many of us, Yahtzee hoped the Wii's motion-sensing capabilities would open the door to a whole new galaxy of light saber swish-a-thons that worked, only to be disappointed.

His ire is eventually directed towards the "temperamental" Wii Remote, which he describes as "like playing any other console but with all the buttons randomly reassigned every couple of seconds." Ouch. Bound past the jump for the full, NSFW review.

Continued →

Zero Punctuation is unimpressed with Spore


Oh come now, don't look so surprised, you had to know this was coming. After Will Wright spent a stone cold decade building his delicate sand castle of simulated life, did you really think Yahtzee would be able to resist letting his editorial foot careen through the spires, coating young Will's glasses in sand and tears? Of course not.

Yahtzee reiterates most of the complaints about Spore you've heard from reviewers already, but at least he does it a lot more entertainingly than most of them. Check it out after the break.

Continued →

Behold the Zero Punctuation Too Human review


Just when we all thought that the lumbering storm cloud that washed Too Human's existence with unrestrained negativity (or "mixed" positivity, depending on how you look at it), we remembered something: Zero Punctuation. As a man who loves to hate, we imagine there was no way Yahtzee would pass up a game like Too Human. It is, in his opinion, universally bad and apparently has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. To anyone who enjoys the game (frankly, we've been a bit addicted), you have been warned. Everyone else, find the review after the break.

Continued →

Zero Punctuation tangles with Braid


The latest Zero Punctuation tackles the time bending XBLA title, Braid. Yahtzee's opinion is somewhat mixed, taking note of the well designed puzzles but also noting that the game reused certain puzzles and that some puzzles require players to restart a level if failed, which Yahtzee describes as a "dick move." Another complaint is leveled at the story, which the review cites as pretentious and unnecessarily confusing. Overall though, the gameplay seems to triumph over any flaws. Check out the video after the break (NSFW due to language).

Continued →

Zero Punctuation apparently missed the actual E3


This week's Zero Punctuation makes us wonder: What E3 is Yahtzee talking about? Perhaps things seemed different from the outside, but this year's show actually saw a slew of original titles -- shockingly enough, many from the maw of EA. Sure, there is some serious sequelitus going on (and certain outlets really need to stop riding RE4 v2 RE5's rooster), but we were pleasantly surprised by some of the new IPs. Oh well, no sense in trying to convey some semblance of reason here. Carry on with the amusing hate.

Check out Yahtzee's NSFW take on E3 after the break.

Continued →

Zero Punctuation visits Conan in Hyboria


No matter how much the hardcore MMORPG crowd may want to deny it, almost every game in the genre wants to be, or wishes it could have been, World or Warcraft. This week's Zero Punctuation says as much, with Yahtzee trying to enjoy his Hyborian adventure but wandering into familiar -- but not quite right -- WoW territory.

Check out the NSFW review of Age of Conan after the break.

Continued →

Zero Punctuation unleashes the fury on Alone in the Dark


Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee has himself an awful game this week with Alone in the Dark, and he uses the opportunity for all that it's worth. This is a classic episode for the amount of ire it dishes out. Yes, it's everything one expects from Yahtzee reviewing Edward Carnby's latest misadventure in the well-intentioned, but ultimately flawed, game.

The NSFW clip can be found after the break.

Continued →

Featured Galleries

Encleverment Experiment (XBLA)

Encleverment Experiment (XBLA)

Espagaruda II

Espagaruda II

Mushihime-Sama Futari

Mushihime-Sama Futari

Avatar Apparel Color Options

Avatar Apparel Color Options

Bubble Bobble Neo (XBLA)

Bubble Bobble Neo (XBLA)

Halo Wars Historic Battle Map Pack DLC

Halo Wars Historic Battle Map Pack DLC

Bass Pro Shops: The Strike

Bass Pro Shops: The Strike

Ion Assault (XBLA)

Ion Assault (XBLA)

U-Wars

U-Wars

 


Team Joystiq

 
Chris Grant
Editor-in-Chief, Email
James Ransom-Wiley
Managing Editor, Email
Ludwig Kietzmann
Senior Editor, Email
Andrew Yoon
East Coast Editor, Email
Randy Nelson
West Coast Editor, Email
Justin McElroy
Reviews Editor, Email
Justin Glow
Developer, Email

X3F Fancast

New episodes every Monday evening.
Now playing:
Xbox 360 Fancast 146 -- Tempting Fate, for Monday, December 14.



Archive | RSS | iTunes

Joystiq Features